Eight Ways to Let Go...

Sometimes when things come to an end, we feel more than slightly lost. When a relationship, friendship or job ends it could seem to crash our world. Our blood, sweat, tears, hopes and often life-long dreams seemed to be shattered. Other times the endings are not so serious and yet they tug at our heart strings. Life could seem to be out-of-control or at a sudden standstill. The truth is though, that life has changed, it will never be the same again. While we do need to honor that transition we should keep in mind that the wise ancients always said that only thing we can count on is CHANGE. If we have experience and who doesn’t once you’re past the age of eight…you know somewhere deep within that this too shall pass. For most of us, eventually it does. But what of those aches that last?

Eckhart Tolle, number # on the Watkins 100 Spiritual Power List, believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Caroline Myss. Medical intuitive and NYT bestselling author, has said that we have learned the language of woundology and it has become a way to identify ourselves and connect with others. How do we let go with grace and ease while being honest with ourselves? We may be spiritual beings having an earthly experience but if the dog bites, it sure hurts…yet we are not our “story.”

So what are some things you can do while dealing with a transformation in your life? Sometimes these endings are expected like graduating from school, sometimes they come unawares…death, lay-off, natural disaster destroying your home. How can we cope in as spiritual a way as possible?

Here are 8 user-friendly ways to get through endings:

1.Let yourself have a breakdown: Iyanla Vanzant said at Hay House this weekend Sept 17-18, “ Just cuz you’re spiritual doesn’t mean you can’t have a breakdown. But it can’t go on forever. Set a time, cry, yell, let it out, feel what’s inside of you.” According to Dr. William Frey II, PH.D., biochemist at the Ramset Medical Center in Minneapolis crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress.

2.Talk to a friend: You don’t need ten friends, you need one or two good ones that will truly listen as you express your deepest feelings. Sometimes we REALLY just need to be HEARD and received with love and compassion.

3.Engage in a physical activity: Exercise decreases stress hormones and increases endorphins, chemicals that improve your state of mind. During a serious break-up...I turned UP the DANCE quotient in my life. I started belly dancing like 6 times a week! My mami was stressing out that it would become my next career and I was like "Mami!, be HAPPY I'm moving when all I wanna do is lay there!"

4.Follow a spiritual practice: Use meditation or yoga to bring you into the present moment instead of re-living the past or worrying about the future. Hopefully you have a practice that supports you, if you don't...it's a PERFECT time to start one! Make it simple, make it something you like and can manage.

5.Be grateful: Identify what the experience taught you to help develop a sense of closure. Be thankful for the shared time, the experience and the growth that you have acquired. Don't worry about how the "other" proceeds with you, watch how you proceed. End with as much compassion, love and gratitude that your boundless soul can offer.

6.Laugh it out: Research shows that laughter releases tension, improves your immune system, and even eases pain. People report that  they have healed illness with laughter so go ahead...put some comedic salve on that hurting heart : D

7.Focus on productive actions: Clean your room, your desk, your closet, start a hobby instead of dwelling on things you can’t control. When we are sad or nostalgic we tend to s-l-o-w down so get a move and get rid of stuff. Get a friend to join you on a project, it will get your blood flowing and your heart healing.

8. Forgive: Forgive you, forgive them, forgive, forgive...Even if there was an injustice done to you. FORGIVENESS helps RELEASE. This helps you get closure and keeps it MOVIN. Sometimes we hold on because we don't want to forget...we are in fear that this will happen again. Forgiveness let's us get unstuck so we are not living in the past and opens our heart to the PRESENT moment.

Of course, it will take some time but the more you focus on the positive and feel gratitude the more you allow your feelings and life to be transformed. As this situation, person or phase of life leaves you begin to enter a new phase. Think of all the amazing adventures you will experience and know that what makes this existence so enthralling ( enough to make us jump back in & reincarnate) is that its  a journey. It's up to you how much joy, love & abundance you allow.

Hoping that you let go easily & effortlessly as you welcome with joy; new awareness, opportunities and experiences that allow you to express your most ALIVE and happy self!

Smiles & Spirit,

V

How Do You Know When God Is Trying To Tell You Something ?

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”― Anaïs Nin

Question: I always wonder how people interpret signs from God. How do you know? It’s a hard thing to describe. What do you think?-Cocoa Popps, NYC

As Iyanla Vanzant said at a the Hay House conference, “It all begins in the mind.” How people interpret signs from God, a look from a stranger or even street signs on any given street…begins from each and every individual’s own mind. So before we can look at how we may interpret signs from God, we have to look at ourselves more closely.

These core beliefs that create the way we see the world are learned from our families, culture and personal experience. The key here is that they are learned and can be unlearned when they don’t serve our highest and most fabulous good.

Ask yourself: How do I see the world? What do I believe about life? Do I believe in love? Do I believe that it’s supposed to hurt? What defines success for me? What is my belief and relationship to God? The way we define anything has an impact on how we define everything. Our beliefs color our lens and our thoughts, feelings, reactions and experience will become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Do you think that you exist in a fundamentally benevolent world? Or do you believe deep in your heart that it’s a cruel, do-eat-dog existence? Is your version of God, loving and kind? Or punishing?

What we believe…is inevitably what we perceive. This will affect how we define, experience and react what we may call signs from God. For example if the world is a frightening place were there is not enough for everyone a pink slip from a job can seem to be the end of the world. It can make someone wonder/believe they if they were betrayed by a co-worker, an employer or even God.

Another person, trusting in the Universe’s benevolence might be surprised at first, even worried and then decide that its God’s way of saying, “Your time here is done. Take some time off and explore options that may make you happier.”

If your worldview includes that the world is to end in 2012, every earthquake, all political unrest and each piece of disturbing nightly news feeds into your belief as “signs” that the world is ending. If you believe that God is kind and this Universe is benevolent you may very well notice greater kindness in the Universe, more people meditating, an overall increased spiritual awareness in the world that may be signs to you that our Earthly existence is going thru a consciousness shift rather than a “physical end.”

For example, I believe that I am a child of God and that the Universe is conspiring towards my outrageous success! So when it’s time for me to leave a situation, or someone calls me with an opportunity, I see it as a sign and explore it! It doesn’t mean that its not scary but I trust the Universe and while it may not look exactly the way I thought it would…my signs lead me to greater peace and joy.
How to receive and understand a sign from God:

1. Breathe deeply: Take several deep breaths. Allow yourself to truly breathe. So often we do not let ourselves breathe deeply because we fear feeling our feelings.

2. Feel however you feel: Allow yourself in this moment to just feel however you feel as you breathe deeply.

3. Allow yourself to be present: Close your eyes. Gently allow yourself to be present and release attachments to the past and worries of the future. Bring your full attention into the present moment.

4. Pray: One of my favorite prayers, ”Dear God/Goddess/Ganesha/Great Spirit help me to believe the truth about myself – no matter how beautiful it is!”- M. Wiederehr

5. Ask for answers: Most religions and spiritual paths express the idea, “Ask & you shall receive.” Dear God/Goddess/Great Spirit please help me see, know, understand and act on your signs as inspiration for my highest good.”

6. Trust: Know that as you quiet your mind, connect to yourself and open to your divine connection, that the prayers and asking has reached its sacred mark.

7. Pay attention: Watch, listen, breathe and allow yourself to be still. Is what you are sensing as a sign of God bringing you to greater peace? Is it filling you with hope? Is it unsettling in the moment because it asks that you release or let go of something that you want to hold on to? Imagine that you are brave enough to go through the changes… do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Remember that in order to bring in what you are wanting, whether true love, great friends, new clothes or a successful career…we must be ready to let go of what no longer serves us. Not because it is “bad” simply because it has served you as well as it could and now as you are evolving, so are the relationships, jobs and experiences that you are having.

8. Be open: Signs from the Divine come in emails, a stranger on the bus, random occurrences that are really synchronistic answers to your prayers, a dream, a commercial, a song on the elevator, Oprah, a chance meeting, an unseen break-up, your mom’s advice, your best friend’s jokes, re-runs, an inner feeling or sense, knowing things without knowing how you “know.” Basically, we are in communication with God…all the time, whether we are open or not. When we are open we feel supported and connected to something greater. When we are closed, we feel disconnected, lost and sometimes abandoned.

And remember if you don’t like the way things feel in your world…you can always change your mind.

Smiles & Spirit,
Vanessa