La Cosmopolatina » Vanessa Codorniu

If you've ever wondered what it's like to work as an intuitive and healer...Check this out La Cosmopolatina » Vanessa Codorniu

Awaken & Create!

Full Moon in Taurus & 11:11:11

 Manifesting Divine Spirit

I know as many of you, at the Lightworkers are here and awakening. As the Hopi Elders have said: "We are the Ones we have been waiting for." We have everything we need to change our lives, ourselves, our world. Many people are awakening,  realizing that there is more to life than this lovely Earth school. Many are recognizing patterns,  addiction to the past and have an increasing desire  for greater joy, peace and joy in their lives and in the world.

Hearing the small whispers of our inner voice... all of us, slowly and sometimes quickly...are being guided to step into our magnificent power of choice. The power to CHOOSE love over hate, the power to CHOOSE self-acceptance over self-criticism and the power to allow our mind, body and spirit to pursue our deep soul-calling dreams AND our greatest healing.. Each of us creating the change we wish to see in our lives and inevitably or world. For as each of us releases the past and accepts our ability to choose we change our families, our partnerships, our schools, our education and dare I say...our governments and businesses as well.

Historically many seeking change have sacrificed their lives, martyred themselves for the greater good. It is my belief that this gateway to spiritual consciousness for the world begins with US. As givers, lovers of life, teachers, nurses, CEOs, writers, police officers and consciously evolving human beings we may often ignore our own needs. In this new spiritual era let us release the archetype of the martyr. As we step into this gateway now, we need to commit to our healing, our self-acceptance and own our power to choose and create. We are truly willing participants in this journey called LIFE.

Allow this 11:11:11 gateway to help you WALK your TALK. As you give others compassion, give yourself as such. As we accept and love ourselves, we will have an easier time of accepting and loving others.

1. Take quiet time and allow yourself to BE. Do not fill your mind with what must be done. Know that when you give yourself some time in the void... creativity is soon to follow!

2. Meditate deeply on what you wish to leave behind when you pass. 

3. What is the spiritual imprint you will leave behind? What values and vision do you want to live and breathe in your community?

4. If you are already on your path rejoice and re-commit to your true calling today! If you've been hiding, afraid to name, speak or voice your particular way to bless the world...STEP UP! Start that novel, direct that play, that new business or dare to travel. Make your dreams come true NOW.

5. Promise yourself, commit to something that is important to you and close your eyes and visualize every detail, nuance and possibility. Believe and you will perceive this reality as opportunities that you achieve.

6. Write down, draw or otherwise visualize what you are bringing in during this Full Moon in Taurus & 11:11:11 gateway. Examples: Divine Order, Peace, Joyful Transformation, Abundance, Sacred Service, Harmonious partnership, Right Action, Soul-centered Business, Divine Awareness.

7. Affirm that this is so and know that it is. Let your deep intuitive voice carry you thru earthly doubts and woes. Commit to your highest most beautiful truth about yourself, your loved ones, your dreams & aspirations and world you wish to see and experience NOW.

Looking back on this year of change, transformation, community, integrity and SO much love I am so BLESSED. I am overwhelmed by the dreams that have come true, the beautiful, honest clients and friends that I have met and am working with. As I look deeply and understand that I am living my soul's calling I also re-commit to evolving my offerings and my programs so that they can best support my amazing clients and myself. I am committed to shining my light & holding space so that others may SHINE.

Keep shining!

Smiles, Spirit y mucho amor!

Vanessa 11:11

Spiritual Gateway & What it Means For Us  

All over the world people are gathering today on 11:11:11, from innovative wellness centers in Williamsburg, NYC, cozy suburban backyards to ancient mystical sites such as Peru and Egypt... the aim is the same: ushering in and entering thru a Spiritual Gateway of conscious evolution.

Using music, movement, sound, meditation and visualization those gathered will offer collective intentions to seed the world with peace, harmony, and compassion for Earth's inhabitants as well as for future generations yet to come to earth.

  

11.11.11, is the eleventh time since January 1st 2001 (1.1.1) that a date representing a month, day or year, repeats itself on our calendar. The numbers repeat three times, the date creates a visual marker not only on the calendars and watches but also in human consciousness. This pattern speaks to our deepest unconscious. This rare occurrence will not occur for one hundred years and four generations will be born, live and will die within that time span.

The Meaning of the Numbers 11.11.11

There is a metaphysical aspect in the vibration of numbers and each of the sequence of repetitive dates on the calendar (1.1.1, 2.2.2, 3.3.3 through 12.12.12) hold a unique meaning and power based on symbolic numerological interpretations. 

The number 1 symbolizes the Great Initiator, the Creator-God, the masculine energy manifesting itself in the world, spawning new beginnings. When that number 1 resonates and repeats itself, it manifests as an 11 which is a "Master Vibration Number" that represents "The Spiritual Messenger." It is the messenger that brings inspiration and revelation from a higher plane. This spiritual vibration is the foundation of compassionate love on a global scale.

Its power is intensified this year because on November 11, 2011 (11.11.11) the number resonates three times as a "Master Triune Number." An elevated frequency master triune number has the ability, through its nature, to open an expansive awareness in each of us. As the collective consciousness of individuals becomes awakened and aware, the invisible energy behind the visible speaks to our deep souls. These stirrings open a portal causing a profound remembering that represents the Divine Spirit awakening in each of us. In one way or another we are answering that calling on different levels and responding.

How are you answering this call?

If you are interested in exploring your calling and releasing patterns that no longer serve you, consider working with me and thru our work together you will

* Connect to your calling & intuition

* Release patterns and past which no longer serve you 

* Release stress & anxiety as you connect to greater well-being and peace

* Explore & establish a spiritual practice that supports you thru life

May this gateway herald a time of positive change for you!

Día de los Muertos: Keeping Mexican traditions alive in NYC

The belief in the circle of life and death is alive and well in Mexican culture. Death is not to be feared as spirits of the departed are welcomed, honored and remembered.

Halloween marks the beginning of the fiesta of what we refer to in the United States as the Day of the Dead - El dia de los Muertos.Most often referred to as the Day of the Dead, it is actually a fiesta that lasts several days. Los Dias de los Muertos (the Days of the Dead) extends for three days, October 31 - November 2.

The festivities include lively mariachi music, colorful art, sugar skulls, marigolds, humorous costumes, decorating of gravesites and the building of altars. During these days people celebrate the lives and the memories of those who have crossed to the other side. It is a time when the departed souls are allowed to come back to the world for a visit. Preparations are full of excitement and merrymaking.

On October 31 (our Halloween) families begin preparing the food, decorations and the altar (ofrenda) that will be used during the festivities. November 1 (All Saints' Day-Roman Catholic Church’s day for Saints) is the day that the angelitos (spirits of the dead children) arrive. November 2 (All Souls' Day-Roman Catholic Church remembers the departed) is the day for the spirits of the adults arrival.

The spiritual practice of celebrating dead ancestors has been observed by indigenous civilizations perhaps for as long as 2,500–3,000 years. Even in the pre-Hispanic era, it was common to keep skulls as trophies, objects of power and wisdom and display them during the rituals to symbolize death and rebirth. Particularly in Mexico it is traced back to the Aztec calendar and it was celebrated during an entire month. The celebrations were dedicated to the “Lady of the Dead.”

In Guatemala the celebration is marked by creating and flying giant kites as well as visiting cemeteries.

In Ecuador, the Day of the Dead is observed by most of the people but it is especially significant to the indigenous Kichwa people. The families gather atthe community cemetery with offerings of food and partake of native ceremonial foods like colada morada,a spiced fruit stew that includes blackberries and purple maize and guagua de pan, a bread shaped like a swaddled infant with guava filling.

In Brazil, this public holiday of Finados ( the Deceased) is celebrated on November 2. Families go to church and cemeteries with flowers, candles and prayers.

Rituals, celebrations and prayers for the departed are also found throughout the world in Europe, Asia and Africa.

Whether it’s a tradition you embrace or are simply curious about exploring, here are some interesting happenings in NYC that may open you up to a whole new way of seeing things...

Adults

Day of the Dead Tequila Tasting at Mayahuel, Monday, November 2 9:00pm, $50
Location: 304 E. 6th St.

Day of the Dead Exhibit at Azucarera Gallery, Through November 12th
Location: 414 West 145th St.
Mexican born and New York-based artists Felipe Galindo and Andrea Arroyo present an diverse combination of work. Galindo features a humorous series of pieces inspired by the traditional Day of the Dead family alter, while Arroyo’s works focus on the tragedy of the disappearing women in Juarez, Mexico.


Kids/family
Day of the Dead at Saint Marks Church in the Bowery
Saturday, October 29-Wednesday, November 2, FREE
Location: 131 East 10th St. between Second and Third Avenues
Mano a Mano recreated a Mexican village churchyard and offers activities to honor those who have passed. Celebration includes workshops in alter-building, paper flower making, poetry, and bread baking. Dance procession and musical performances also part of the festivities. See website for full schedule.


Union Settlement Associations Day of the Dead event, Wednesday, November 2, 6:00-7:00pm
$1 for children, $2 for adults
Location: 237 E. 104th St. between 2nd and 3rd Ave
Traditional Mexican food from 6:00-7:00 followed by dance and Mariachi performances.

Eight Ways to Let Go...

Sometimes when things come to an end, we feel more than slightly lost. When a relationship, friendship or job ends it could seem to crash our world. Our blood, sweat, tears, hopes and often life-long dreams seemed to be shattered. Other times the endings are not so serious and yet they tug at our heart strings. Life could seem to be out-of-control or at a sudden standstill. The truth is though, that life has changed, it will never be the same again. While we do need to honor that transition we should keep in mind that the wise ancients always said that only thing we can count on is CHANGE. If we have experience and who doesn’t once you’re past the age of eight…you know somewhere deep within that this too shall pass. For most of us, eventually it does. But what of those aches that last?

Eckhart Tolle, number # on the Watkins 100 Spiritual Power List, believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Caroline Myss. Medical intuitive and NYT bestselling author, has said that we have learned the language of woundology and it has become a way to identify ourselves and connect with others. How do we let go with grace and ease while being honest with ourselves? We may be spiritual beings having an earthly experience but if the dog bites, it sure hurts…yet we are not our “story.”

So what are some things you can do while dealing with a transformation in your life? Sometimes these endings are expected like graduating from school, sometimes they come unawares…death, lay-off, natural disaster destroying your home. How can we cope in as spiritual a way as possible?

Here are 8 user-friendly ways to get through endings:

1.Let yourself have a breakdown: Iyanla Vanzant said at Hay House this weekend Sept 17-18, “ Just cuz you’re spiritual doesn’t mean you can’t have a breakdown. But it can’t go on forever. Set a time, cry, yell, let it out, feel what’s inside of you.” According to Dr. William Frey II, PH.D., biochemist at the Ramset Medical Center in Minneapolis crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress.

2.Talk to a friend: You don’t need ten friends, you need one or two good ones that will truly listen as you express your deepest feelings. Sometimes we REALLY just need to be HEARD and received with love and compassion.

3.Engage in a physical activity: Exercise decreases stress hormones and increases endorphins, chemicals that improve your state of mind. During a serious break-up...I turned UP the DANCE quotient in my life. I started belly dancing like 6 times a week! My mami was stressing out that it would become my next career and I was like "Mami!, be HAPPY I'm moving when all I wanna do is lay there!"

4.Follow a spiritual practice: Use meditation or yoga to bring you into the present moment instead of re-living the past or worrying about the future. Hopefully you have a practice that supports you, if you don't...it's a PERFECT time to start one! Make it simple, make it something you like and can manage.

5.Be grateful: Identify what the experience taught you to help develop a sense of closure. Be thankful for the shared time, the experience and the growth that you have acquired. Don't worry about how the "other" proceeds with you, watch how you proceed. End with as much compassion, love and gratitude that your boundless soul can offer.

6.Laugh it out: Research shows that laughter releases tension, improves your immune system, and even eases pain. People report that  they have healed illness with laughter so go ahead...put some comedic salve on that hurting heart : D

7.Focus on productive actions: Clean your room, your desk, your closet, start a hobby instead of dwelling on things you can’t control. When we are sad or nostalgic we tend to s-l-o-w down so get a move and get rid of stuff. Get a friend to join you on a project, it will get your blood flowing and your heart healing.

8. Forgive: Forgive you, forgive them, forgive, forgive...Even if there was an injustice done to you. FORGIVENESS helps RELEASE. This helps you get closure and keeps it MOVIN. Sometimes we hold on because we don't want to forget...we are in fear that this will happen again. Forgiveness let's us get unstuck so we are not living in the past and opens our heart to the PRESENT moment.

Of course, it will take some time but the more you focus on the positive and feel gratitude the more you allow your feelings and life to be transformed. As this situation, person or phase of life leaves you begin to enter a new phase. Think of all the amazing adventures you will experience and know that what makes this existence so enthralling ( enough to make us jump back in & reincarnate) is that its  a journey. It's up to you how much joy, love & abundance you allow.

Hoping that you let go easily & effortlessly as you welcome with joy; new awareness, opportunities and experiences that allow you to express your most ALIVE and happy self!

Smiles & Spirit,

V

How Do You Know When God Is Trying To Tell You Something ?

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”― Anaïs Nin

Question: I always wonder how people interpret signs from God. How do you know? It’s a hard thing to describe. What do you think?-Cocoa Popps, NYC

As Iyanla Vanzant said at a the Hay House conference, “It all begins in the mind.” How people interpret signs from God, a look from a stranger or even street signs on any given street…begins from each and every individual’s own mind. So before we can look at how we may interpret signs from God, we have to look at ourselves more closely.

These core beliefs that create the way we see the world are learned from our families, culture and personal experience. The key here is that they are learned and can be unlearned when they don’t serve our highest and most fabulous good.

Ask yourself: How do I see the world? What do I believe about life? Do I believe in love? Do I believe that it’s supposed to hurt? What defines success for me? What is my belief and relationship to God? The way we define anything has an impact on how we define everything. Our beliefs color our lens and our thoughts, feelings, reactions and experience will become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Do you think that you exist in a fundamentally benevolent world? Or do you believe deep in your heart that it’s a cruel, do-eat-dog existence? Is your version of God, loving and kind? Or punishing?

What we believe…is inevitably what we perceive. This will affect how we define, experience and react what we may call signs from God. For example if the world is a frightening place were there is not enough for everyone a pink slip from a job can seem to be the end of the world. It can make someone wonder/believe they if they were betrayed by a co-worker, an employer or even God.

Another person, trusting in the Universe’s benevolence might be surprised at first, even worried and then decide that its God’s way of saying, “Your time here is done. Take some time off and explore options that may make you happier.”

If your worldview includes that the world is to end in 2012, every earthquake, all political unrest and each piece of disturbing nightly news feeds into your belief as “signs” that the world is ending. If you believe that God is kind and this Universe is benevolent you may very well notice greater kindness in the Universe, more people meditating, an overall increased spiritual awareness in the world that may be signs to you that our Earthly existence is going thru a consciousness shift rather than a “physical end.”

For example, I believe that I am a child of God and that the Universe is conspiring towards my outrageous success! So when it’s time for me to leave a situation, or someone calls me with an opportunity, I see it as a sign and explore it! It doesn’t mean that its not scary but I trust the Universe and while it may not look exactly the way I thought it would…my signs lead me to greater peace and joy.
How to receive and understand a sign from God:

1. Breathe deeply: Take several deep breaths. Allow yourself to truly breathe. So often we do not let ourselves breathe deeply because we fear feeling our feelings.

2. Feel however you feel: Allow yourself in this moment to just feel however you feel as you breathe deeply.

3. Allow yourself to be present: Close your eyes. Gently allow yourself to be present and release attachments to the past and worries of the future. Bring your full attention into the present moment.

4. Pray: One of my favorite prayers, ”Dear God/Goddess/Ganesha/Great Spirit help me to believe the truth about myself – no matter how beautiful it is!”- M. Wiederehr

5. Ask for answers: Most religions and spiritual paths express the idea, “Ask & you shall receive.” Dear God/Goddess/Great Spirit please help me see, know, understand and act on your signs as inspiration for my highest good.”

6. Trust: Know that as you quiet your mind, connect to yourself and open to your divine connection, that the prayers and asking has reached its sacred mark.

7. Pay attention: Watch, listen, breathe and allow yourself to be still. Is what you are sensing as a sign of God bringing you to greater peace? Is it filling you with hope? Is it unsettling in the moment because it asks that you release or let go of something that you want to hold on to? Imagine that you are brave enough to go through the changes… do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Remember that in order to bring in what you are wanting, whether true love, great friends, new clothes or a successful career…we must be ready to let go of what no longer serves us. Not because it is “bad” simply because it has served you as well as it could and now as you are evolving, so are the relationships, jobs and experiences that you are having.

8. Be open: Signs from the Divine come in emails, a stranger on the bus, random occurrences that are really synchronistic answers to your prayers, a dream, a commercial, a song on the elevator, Oprah, a chance meeting, an unseen break-up, your mom’s advice, your best friend’s jokes, re-runs, an inner feeling or sense, knowing things without knowing how you “know.” Basically, we are in communication with God…all the time, whether we are open or not. When we are open we feel supported and connected to something greater. When we are closed, we feel disconnected, lost and sometimes abandoned.

And remember if you don’t like the way things feel in your world…you can always change your mind.

Smiles & Spirit,
Vanessa

Internal GPS, Celestial Nods & Your Gut Feeling

“I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely.” – Kim Basinger,Actress

What if that annoying little voice inside of you was right?

What if that feeling that something was wrong at work or maybe that it was time to end a relationship, was dead on? Yeah…gulp…what IF…that feeling is right?

Often we ignore that hunch, that celestial nod & that gut reaction. No it would be too horrible to look at, too troublesome to imagine.Or we may just obsess over the thought without delving deeper for understanding or appropriate action.

Hell, well…maybe we are WRONG…Or maybe, just maybe we are more right than we have EVER been and it scares the Mary, the Sophia, Sarasvati & Shekinah out of us!

If we ignore it enough, it will go away. Ok…

News flash! Intuition & deeper wisdom are at work here. It’s a work in progress, but its working and guess what? The more you listen, the more you flow in your life. The more you listen and take appropriate actions or attitude adjustments…the more you are aligned with your highest vision. Yes and another perk? It feels good!

After the storm, or change or adjustment or simple nod of acknowledgement…it feels good that you listened to yourself and went with the flow.

We are raised, at least many people I know…” to put up the good fight”, to “hang in there”…hey I have Venus in Aries myself with a Sun in Taurus, I am your rock and will fight in the trenches alongside people I love and people I work with. One thing I’ve learned as I’ve developed my intuition though…is that what my everyday personality ego “believes”, thinks it knows based on tangible evidence or what defines me needs to be trumped by my inner knowing.

The more I listen, the stronger my internal GPS gets, the better it gets, the more I let go. I know that I’m here to develop highest faith in the invisible and live and breathe it. Walking my talk is part of my soul agreement-integrity & transparency.

Many people come to psychics or intuitives to get “answers” and some answers are available and very inspiring. Patterns and unearthed shadows, reflected and validating impressions of what & who you are come to the fore. When you see a good one you are inspired and feel back on track...you've had the truth reflected back to you and you feel you can move forward.

Ultimately though, it’s a journey, it’s a process and really…its Earth School. Ya can’t bypass class cuz you can read energy or tarot cards. You can surely align yourself with a greater spiritual flow that allows for your most fulfilling growth if you listen to the life supporting messages that are available!

I love this quote by Caroline Myss, NYT bestseller & Medical Intuitive:
"Intuition is neither the ability to engage prophecy nor a means of avoiding financial loss or painful relationships. It is actually the ability to use energy data to make decisions in the immediate moment."

As a professional intuitive and intuition coach I’ve learned so much in my own life and reading others has helped me realize that we are more alike than different. The human condition is universal. I also realize how intuitive we all actually are. Many of my clients feel, hear, sense and see information but often don't know what to do with it. I understand that sense of, " what do I do with this?"

While I grew up in lovely Forest Hills visiting my neighborhood's reform Temples, my family is Argentinean and Catholic. While spirits and intuition were accepted...there was usually a warning with developing it. The dark side with all its covert implications lurked near and no one wanted to invite unwanted attention: from the living or the dead. Frankly,from the stories I heard...you didn't know which would be worse!

While I knew that paternal Abuela wrote messages from the other side & later found out my maternal Abuelo had a guide...no one said," hey Nena, have a seat. I'm going to train you."

I was lucky my mom taught me to cleanse and release "stuff" that I had picked up from others. I just knew there was too much going on in "the world behind our eyes" as Caroline Myss explains it. I knew that I wanted answers and a way to understand our unseen realities. I can count on both hands the times I ignored my inner ding and lived to tell some wretched tales. Most of my life has become about learning to understand, connect and use this amazing gift we all have to one degree or another.

Don’t turn away from your inner senses because it may cause too much trouble, don’t ignore persistent messages. In the end, ignoring your signs & messages may cause you more trouble than you know…but then again, it may have been part of your educational journey.

All of our fears and turning away from ourselves usually leads us to the undeniable truth anyway! You can run...but you can't hide! All jesting aside, pay attention to the celestial nods and gut feelings you ignored and then as a testing paradigm...try following your gut next time. How does it feel? How did the situation go? Things that make you go,"Hmmm..."

I learned from every instance when I didn’t listen, that’s what helped me become a really great listener now. My failure to listen has led me to surrender and to accept that what I feel/see/hear and know is very real. Even if no one else validates my impressions, through trial and error I have grown to see the wisdom and the alignment it brings to my life.

While many seek psychic and spiritual development (which btw, are not one and the same) as a form of control, to me it has become the art of surrender. I learned techniques and tools but in the end...I still hang off the edge and jump. I am comfortable there and I know that I am safe. When Heaven speaks, I listen, I am thankful, I jump and I soar!

Amen! Ache! A-Ho, So it is, so shall it be!

If you'd like to learn more check out my intensive below : )

Intuition Intensive this Saturday, NYC location 1-4pm

AWAKEN & CONNECT TO YOUR INTUITIVE MUZE

What they are saying about my work:

"Vanessa's intuition intensive workshops have truly been a blessing for me in all aspects of my life. She taught me how to tap into, access and most importantly trust my intuition with her warmth, compassion, wisdom, and humor! Her guided meditation and visualization exercises have been an invaluable tool that I have carried over into my daily life. Now, I walk taller and lighter in the world with confidence in the decisions and choices that I am making in my personal and professional life. Vanessa is a dynamic beacon and I am truly shining because of her grace and guidance!"-Caralin, teacher

"I know I’m in the best place with the most supportive of people. I feel safe, I sleep peacefully, I can breathe in large crowds, I can differentiate my emotions from those that don't belong to me. I understand myself more than ever while developing new gifts in the process.Thank you Vanessa for your teachings, your friendship, and your spirit."- Sincerely, Lisa Marie

" I've met many readers in the past, but none of them are like Vanessa! she is a wonder spiritual guide and healer. I've been to her 4 times, and every time she's given me more insight into how my past, has shaped my present and what role it will play in future. However, the most importantly gift that Vanessa has given me is that she's been able to help me heal. On one visit she opened my mind to the process hypnotism. Let me begin by saying that I was not open at all to this, but after some "very gentle" persuasion I decided to do. I'm so happy we did it because my life has completely changed because of it. Since that day I don't have a chip on my shoulder, I'm not angry, and I've somehow learned to move forward. I consider Vanessa not only part of my new circle of strong women council, but also I consider her a friend - a title I don't give to everyone."-S.Roberts, Marketing Coordinator

Smiles & Spirit! Hope to see you there!
Vanessa

One Empath's experience...

To whom it may inspire:

I'd spent most of my life feeling a bit off. I was uncomfortable in crowds, more affected by emotion than others, afraid to sleep, and had an uncanny feeling of always knowing. Its amazing how the universe has a way of providing just what you need at the right time.

Recently I met Vanessa at April Glass during a mini psychic fair where she gave me an intuition reading and instantly I felt a connection.

I knew I had gifts, but I hadn't made the connection between them and the cause of alot of my anxiety and quality of life issues. Things as simple as a good nights rest that many take for granted.

Also I'm pregnant and knowing the likelihood of bearing a child with the same gifts was a cause for concern since if I couldnt control my own. How was I to protect him or her from the same fears and problems that plagued me?

Vanessa suggested I attend her weekly Intuition Group/Class in order to learn how to use and enhance my gifts positively and not be a victim of them.

I've been going for over a month now and have transformed into a confident Empath, able to feel emotion without being smothered by it. I continue to work and learn each week more about myself and others, discovering new gifts, and befriending those like myself.

I love this group because its a healthy spiritual inlet and outlet. A small community full of guidance and acceptance where my gifts as well as friendships flourish. I know Im in the best place with the most supportive of people. I feel safe, I sleep peacefully, I can breathe in large crowds, I can differentiate my emotions from those that don't belong to me. I understand myself more than ever while developing new gifts in the process.


Thank you Vanessa for your teachings, your friendship, and your spirit.- Sincerely 
Lisa Marie

If you would like to connect with Vanessa regarding Intuition workshops contact her at
oshunstar@yahoo.com

Birth day pangs…the practice of letting go

I release the patterns/beliefs/memories/relationships that no longer serve me

I celebrated my birth day in Astoria, surrounded by family, friends, beloved clients who are now friends…in a restaurant I used to go shake my groove thang a decade ago. This Mediterranean restaurant grew from a self-acclaimed “Manhattan-style” bar to an expansive restaurant & lounge with outdoor garden space. Over the years I watched it expand and change. So had I, from private mystic to metaphysical maven still learning about business and passionate about life.

Making new memories, taking in the now, reminded gently of the old. Standing in time I felt like an amalgamation of all that has been, is and will be and I liked it. I’ve earned my humble wisdom, my strength and my earth school scars and stars.

Surrounded by lots of love, great food and spirit-supporting gifts…aromatic candles, totem animal earrings, necklaces and yes…owl salt & pepper shakers, I felt afloat and buoyant. That was four days before my birthday.

The night before I was awash in a shower of texts, FB hollers and loving phone calls. Ahhhh…more buoyancy. Floating on the power of gratitude, joyful and happy for new growth, new relationships and the love of the tried and true-I was a glowing, enraptured, happy chick.

Waking up on my birthday, I felt as I had been hit by bricks. As if I had carefully built a house that crumbled on me without mercy, as I slept. I felt emotional and more than slightly haunted. More than anything, I wanted to jump up from my bed and welcome this New Year!

I was leaving behind the Spiritually intensive 7 year of introspection, spiritual focus, metaphysical learning and solitude. This groggy Birth day morning, I learned that the old year was a bitch and she was hanging on by her Lee press-on nails!

I went to breakfast and did some errands but echoes of love lost and fears of the new arose. My dear friend, who our tribe calls The Little One said,” You’ve been through a lot in the last years and you’ve been thriving. Be gentle with yourself. Be patient. Allow yourself time.”

Wise Little One made my eyes well up. She was right. On this day, I couldn’t seem to cross over into joy, no matter how I tried to re-frame the stories or feelings. Realizing that the ghosts had come home to roost I sat down and decided to deal. “The only way out, is in,” my guides say. So I went in with the intention of taking no prisoners…

Prayer on my lips, my favorite ocean sounds in the air, lots of sage and a meditation space. I allowed myself to feel what was in my heart and what I was carrying in my mind. The mind is the greatest ally OR your greatest enemy.

I called each part of me home to centeredness: my mind, my spirit, my passion, my feelings and my body. Each came bearing a gift, and each had come with some earthly price. Making choices and decisions that are aligned with your values are not always easy. Sometimes you walk away with your integrity & your honesty but still feel the pangs of “what if?” Thankfully, I go to the edge and my questions are usually answered…sooner or later.

I viewed my memories, my thoughts, my stories. I allowed them to play out, I allowed my tears to rise and fall from my lashes. I allowed myself the space to feel all I wanted to hide, ignore and place in some spiritual urn somewhere.

Speaking to each memory, whispering forgiveness, listening for signs, connecting the dots, seeing clearly and then allowing it to disappear into the ether. I gave myself this time to let go.

This process does not happen overnight. We may cut our physical ties, even our metaphysical chords and yet the mind & heart play on with the old songs and tapes. Today as I coaxed my New year into being I allowed myself to cry for the unspoken, the unknown and for the unforgettable truths I had learned.

And finally, I felt freer. I slipped into my candlelit bath and spoke my intentions aloud. This personal 8 year was asking me to step up, go the next level, rise to my vision and manifest my most passionate of intentions. This most awaited 8 year of action, power and intention was beckoning me into a greater freedom.

Being gentle with myself:
I allow for positive, prosperous, creative, soul-affirming beliefs, experiences, relationships and opportunities to support me in my most amazing life path

Stepping out of my cleansing bath, I dressed quickly. Placing my totem earrings & necklace on I welcomed this powerful New year of action & manifestation! With umbrella overhead I ran to a nearby restaurant to meet my four gal pals. My BFF had already ordered happy hour cosmos for all. And you know,a cosmo is a terrible thing to waste...

Amen, So it is & so shall it be, Ashe! A-ho!

Waiting to Exhale

"Practicing regular, mindful breathing can be calming and energizing and can even help with stress-related health problems ranging from panic attacks to digestive disorders."
Andrew Weil, M.D.


Let’s focus on our breath now
Take three deep breaths…
breathing in through your nose, releasing through your mouth…
One…two…three…

I do this constantly. No, really…all the time.

I repeat this in class, in circle, before an intuitive reading, during a hypnosis session & yes, even a reiki session. While I repeat it, I do it myself.

Taking a breath, noticing our breath is one of the most basic and most necessary balancing, connecting & relaxing things we can do. The breath leads us to relaxation, deeper focus and even super-delicious orgasms! Its easy, you can do it anywhere and by God! Its still free!

So why are we still holding our breath?

Habit, perhaps fear or simply the “habit of fear.” Fear of feeling too much, fear of losing control. Fear of having to deal with what we are feeling. Fear of not dealing with what we are feeling. Fear seems to back us into a no-win situation.

Quick check, are you holding it now? Do you breath up high in your chest, shallow breaths…only allowing yourself “oh so much air?” Do you avoid breathing deeply, worried your stomach might stick out? In our image-obsessed society breathing so deeply as to have your diaphragm expand is unseemingly to many.

Sometimes we feel that if we control our breathing we can control our feelings, our thoughts and the truth is yes, we can. The problem is that we aren’t using it correctly. Instead of grounding ourselves and connecting to our mind, body & spirits thru the breath, we are often using shallow breaths to disconnect and escape what we are actually feeling. If you get into a pattern of this you may find a sense of watching yourself from the outside, sometimes a sense of panic and you’ll find that anxiety arises. What’s the solution? Breathe deeply please…now.

Take a moment each day, on the train, at your desk to just breathe low in your belly, allow your eyes to close and observe that feeling. There’s nothing to do but breathe, in and out. That’s it, don’t wait to exhale just breathe...


The Relaxing Breath Exercise recommended by Dr.Weil

This exercise is utterly simple, takes almost no time, requires no equipment and can be done anywhere. Although you can do the exercise in any position, sit with your back straight while learning the exercise. Place the tip of your tongue against the ridge of tissue just behind your upper front teeth, and keep it there through the entire exercise. You will be exhaling through your mouth around your tongue; try pursing your lips slightly if this seems awkward.

* Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound.
* Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four.
* Hold your breath for a count of seven.
* Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight.
* This is one breath. Now inhale again and repeat the cycle three more times for a total of four breaths.

Note that you always inhale quietly through your nose and exhale audibly through your mouth.

The tip of your tongue stays in position the whole time. Exhalation takes twice as long as inhalation. The absolute time you spend on each phase is not important; the ratio of 4:7:8 is important. If you have trouble holding your breath, speed the exercise up but keep to the ratio of 4:7:8 for the three phases. With practice you can slow it all down and get used to inhaling and exhaling more and more deeply.

This exercise is a natural tranquilizer for the nervous system. Unlike tranquilizing drugs, which are often effective when you first take them but then lose their power over time, this exercise is subtle when you first try it but gains in power with repetition and practice. Do it at least twice a day. You cannot do it too frequently. Do not do more than four breaths at one time for the first month of practice. Later, if you wish, you can extend it to eight breaths. If you feel a little lightheaded when you first breathe this way, do not be concerned; it will pass.

Once you develop this technique by practicing it every day, it will be a very useful tool that you will always have with you. Use it whenever anything upsetting happens - before you react. Use it whenever you are aware of internal tension. Use it to help you fall asleep. This exercise cannot be recommended too highly. Everyone can benefit from it.

How does it feel? Please feel free to share : )

Blown Away

Mischievous with half-closed eyes and impish grin
outstretched hand
welcoming me for a joyride...
for a spin
I know your name but with hassles and worries have forgotten
How it is that this love was first begotten

I am touched by that ever-changing entity
the elusive time-altering dream
The freeing form and the tumultous storm
Swirling, twisting, flowing
Flooding the chambers of my heart
Analyzed, understood
Surpassing the thinking mind
Shaping my lips, my thighs
Emerging thru my hands
Connecting on your skin
Magnetic and pulsating
Coiling and uncoiling in our heated dance

I touch you and am touched as by no other
Resplendent and bathed in warm tones of sunshine
Cleansed and awash in divine rain
I am shaken and moved from my comfortable
knowable
Rooted spot
Where birds land and sing their tales
Where ants may build slowly but surely
And life continues day by day...

In this moment
I am simply

Blown away




copyright 2010 Vanessa Codorniu

Bellydance in her Soul: Remembering Tia Blanca

Para mi primo George, no importa la distancia...solo el amor

My father's sister, my Tia Blanca passed away last week at the youthful age of 79. She is the lovely dark-haired lady in the picture above with her son, my cousin Larry by her side. My mom and I are to the left of them. Thankful I had seen her in Argentina last October, I lit a candle for her as I prayed and thanked the Universe for our last meeting. It was a true and priceless blessing.

Her twinkly eyes, alive and bright shone passionately as she confessed to me her livelong desire to bellydance. The music had always called her but in her teens and 20s that wasn't a dance for young, Catholic Argentine women to dance nor was it appropriate for a wife, mother or grandmother as she travelled through life. She told me of stolen moments away from her dad's disapproving eyes and the freedom she felt as she danced around in her living room to sounds of faraway places that felt like home to her spirit.

I told her how my day's cares and worries ceased as I stepped onto the wood dance floor. How I am instantaneously transported to a perfect NOW when I dance. There is no yesterday or tomorrow there is only the music flowing through me, emotion in motion and a freedom that is pure joy.

I hugged her and told her of performances, my dance teacher Jannelle in NYC,the Shimmy Sisters, veils, costumes, wings, the pyramids of Egypt and the amazing classes I attended in Cairo taught by male middle eastern dancers! I promised that when I came back to Argentina, we would go watch a live middle eastern dance & music show, she said," Watch? Oh, no! You and I will dance! A si, Vanessita, vamos a bailar!"

We giggled like school girls and members of a secret society as I shared some of my ipod albums while the rest of the family sat at lunch. I explained the reason that I had decided to live life as fully as possible was because I realized how lucky I was to be born in a time where I have different choices. I've always felt a responsibility to my female ancestors to dance because perhaps they couldn't, to pray in my own way because perhaps they could only do so on bended knee, to express and sing and love on my own terms...perhaps because they could only do so according to their cultural norms.

Tia Blanca was born in Argentina and came to the US as a wife and mother, only to return and make Argentina her permanent home. I was born in Latin America and came to the US in diapers. I had not seen her in a half a lifetime and yet, we were not so different! Wondering why we felt this love for middle eastern music and dance, moved to tears and challenged to express it however we could, we shared our passion and awe that afternoon.

I imagine now, that she is bellydancing in the heavens and that she is eternally youthful and vibrant. I imagine her with her husband Luis who passed away last year and their very real and loving connection. I imagine too when I pass and that those after me will celebrate my life.

For now I welcome each day as a sacred promise to love as much as I can, create as much as I am able and get back to dance class ASAP! When I pass away those left behind can celebrate my life, in the meantime its my birthday month, "Let's Dance! Yallah! Yallah!"

Stranger Still

The first time I saw you
You were a stranger but I felt like I had always known you
Stranger still, the last time I saw you
You were my love but I felt like I had never known you
You are a stranger at last








copyright 2000 Vanessa Codorniu

Present in this moment

I allow myself to be present in this moment
I do not clutch this gem, this treasure close to me
For as much as I would try by grasping mind, body and spirit
It is a futile act, one that promises sorrow
Knowing it is like trying to hold running waters in my hand
I release, I accept and in doing so I live each moment.

I allow the waters to quench my thirst
slip from my lips to skin
Bathe me gently, cleansing me
I step into puddles, smile at the rain, free…present
I allow this moment to exist in my breath
In my being
I release, I accept and in doing so I live each moment

I remember laying face down in my parent’s house. Face down on my bedroom carpet sobbing. Something that disturbed my young world had happened. Plans to stay at a friend’s had been cancelled. I was filled with anger, sadness and sobbed intensely into my pillow. I laugh now but I know that I sobbed “extra” loud, I wanted them to know how upset I was! Wailing loudly, I remember how those sobs rocked my small ribs until I shook. I exhausted myself and then just lay there. A thought came to me…that while this hurt, well it would pass. An interesting thought, and so I searched my mind for evidence. I laid back on the pillow and while I stared at the ceiling I remembered visiting Argentina and how quickly that had come and gone. I remembered buying a desired book and the delicious feeling of holding it, opening it and beginning to travel through the story.

Closing my eyes, images and feelings flooded me. Amusement parks, getting my favorite doll, waiting for my brother to be born…no matter how good or bad something felt. It moved, it arrived, existed, changed and then left a memory. The fact was that life moved through us, that we sometimes chose to stay stuck but the truth was that whether it was good or not so good…this too shall pass.

As adults we twist ourselves up, thinking we have control…trying to keep ourselves “safe.” We can’t. It’s a futile effort but don’t tell us that! We’re unconsciously trying to keep everything stable…everything unchanging, when the only sure thing is change. I say, we are swimming upstream and don’t we all know what happens to the sweet salmon once they get there. The difference is that they were born to do that, for whatever reason...that is their way. It is not ours.

We can only hope to be, give, decide, chose the best we can in each given moment and the rest we have no control. We will give ourselves insomnia, aches, pains, headaches and indigestion, worrying about the future and doing the remorse dance over the past in our heads. We can get so anxious and worried that we fail to exist in this glorious ever-changing moment.

When we aren’t present, we don’t hear the real conversation, we cannot be fully awake to the new connection or even to the opportunity that may be manifesting in the energy of the moment.

I got up from my wet pillow on the floor and while I knew I’d have to wait to visit my friend, I was ok. Plucking a book from my shelf, Oh yes! a new one! I settled down to a most amazing adventure…savoring the moment.


I allow myself to be present in this moment
I release, I accept and in doing so I live each moment

Recovering Romantics: Are we getting off on NOT getting what we want?

I think that for centuries we have been enraptured and completely enamored of the idea of “impossible love”, “unrequited love.” Blame it on courtly love and the poetry-spouting trabadours. Blame it on red hot Mame-don’t get me started on Rita Hayworth’s love life!

Its “Tristan & Iseult”, “Titanic”, “The Bridges of Madison County” and the greatest story ever told (over & over again), its all about the “Fever” and Romeo and Juliet. Sadly though in all these tales…the fever comes to an end.

Many seek their other “half,” their “twin flame.” You can count me in on that sentimental bunch. This other being will fulfill all that we’ve ever dreamed of and more, we will touch the heavens, become Gods if only for those moments that we are engaged with our Beloved. We will taste the sweetest nectar of beauty and truth. The dramatic profound sensation that this other being is the “one and only,” or “the one that got away.”

Who am I to mettle with people’s dreams and secret fantasies…I can only discuss my own experiences and my own thoughts based on observation. Here goes, I’m disrobing and can only hope you’ll respect me in the morning...

The sweet pain, the delicious ache and the passionate yearning to be with that person...ah! Nothing else has ever quite felt like this before! Of course you realize that the very status of “greatness” that is conferred upon that ideal relationship and/or person relies completely and exclusively on the fact that the relationship cannot be or the person is not

“brave/mature/deep/strong/unattached/unmarried ENOUGH

(fill in the blanks with your favorite word…I mean excuse)

or plain…”just too scared”…to follow through. In order for this relationship/person to be the special one there must be an ingredient of immaturity or non-commitment. So we the enraptured romantics hold on for this “special” person who takes on magnetic even mythic characteristics within our tortured hearts and beleaguered psyches. Unfortunately, we don’t get to be with these “soul mates” nor do we free our hearts to love another because after all…how can the sleep encrusted eyes of someone who gets up to throw out the trash and changes your kid’s diapers ever compare to the moist desirous eyes of the lover who just couldn’t get it together enough to love you completely? Hmmmm...THINK about it.

Well, I’m here to call your bluff. Yes, all you unrequited lovers hear me out.

You have plunged into one night stands and drunken fests as you thought only of HER lips or grimaced through date after boring date because “no one can make you laugh like HIM.” Or you’ve been celibate for about 5 years and ready to create your own religion as his picture sits on your altar till this day!

I’m here to say… you’ve played it safe. You’ve hidden behind the weak. You bet on the wrong horse BECAUSE YOU KNEW HE/SHE WOULD LOSE! Yes, my beloved romantic colleagues you…YOU…are the cowardly ones! Don’t hate me, I’m one of you and I didn’t do it consciously I swear.

You have picked someone who would ultimately let you down….so you could be this unfulfilled romantic. Basically so you wouldn’t really have to deal with the realities of love. I guess it’s so much nicer to fantasize huh? It’s so much nicer to go without, to ache, to miss one who will never be yours? NOT.

Okay, so before you stop reading and delete me with disgust. Read on. How many of us seekers would be able to step up if the love of our lives showed up? RIGHT NOW. HERE . In your face? Would you even be able to recognize them? Would you want to? Ummmm…I hear “well I need some time, I need to think about it…I need to…I need to…”

I need to get a GRIP. Yes, I get you and I understand. You’ve been hurt, you’ve been lied to, they’ve done a brazilian samba on the pieces of your shattered heart, you may have been cheated on and maybe even just plain left…from one day to the next without explanation. You may have had to do the leaving. You may have gone through so much you’re afraid to expect too much. Basically, at this point, if life is like a box of chocolates…you just hope the filling will taste good. Even if only for today. You may just be willing to live for a momentary satisfaction… can I blame you?

In truth we don’t know how long we have anyway. While I can’t blame you and I understand that life is temporary…why settle? Why settle for a fantasy, a drink and just momentary stimulation? All I’m saying is look deeper at the “whys” of your life and the “hows.” Figure out the “what (what you truly truly want if you could but dream alittle dream)” and set your intentions.

When we love we place another's needs/wants at the same level as ours...and often we place them above ourselves. At the heart of it, is self-love. Loving ourselves enough to know what is serving us and what is not. Loving ourselves enough to understand that perhaps its better to be alone than in draining or disappearing company. Loving ourselves enough that we face that love doesn't have to be THAT HARD. We don't have to run the romantic obstacle course so often. We have to acknowledge that we deserve the best: honesty, kindness, fun, laughs, commitment and mutual caring.

Listen, we the unrecovered romantics often have this psychological need to save someone, need to prove that we are the chivalrous few that are still brave enough to love forever even in the face of insurmountable odds ie…their fears, their religions, their ex’s, their kids, their parents, their childhood traumas, their issues…someone stop me I could go on forever.

Is something wrong with this picture? It’s all about THEM. Why is that? Why do we sacrifice our time, our love and our dedication? Will the pay-off, if it ever arrives be good enough? Or is the pay-off the actual sacrifices we make? Are we “getting off” on NOT getting what we want?

If someone showed up who had all their own baggage as we humans tend to but was willing to deal with it and with yours and live and love you fully? Could you do it? Take a moment.

Could you do it?

Or would you sabotage it? Would you compare, dismember and disregard them? Would you turn away every time their eyes mirrored some unacceptable reality that doesn't fulfill your romantic ideals? Would you pick them apart until there was nothing left? Would you take them for granted because they are so "available?" Until you met the next "unavailable/inappropriate" one that would snare your unsuspecting frightened heart?

I’ve left some of the men I’ve loved. It was tragic, sad. We cried under witnessing full moons, held each other into dusky dawns…our last moments together or until the next time we would rush into each others arms and swear eternal love. While emotionally there was a promise of a future, in the morning I walked away with a heavy heart but with easy breath. I was free, tortured but free.

There would never be in-laws to meet, babies to name, joint laundry to wash or even bills to share. We were young, ardent and mesmerized. I had reasons, and they were valid ones, “19 is too young to marry, I want to find out who I am before marriage & commitment,” etc. As time marched on, I figured out more or less who I was and who I was becoming. I grew less afraid and was willing to engage in more serious relationships but guess what? They were non-committal types…and the angst ensued. Of course I didn’t completely know that at the time but err….there were hints. Was I forever to leave my Beloved or struggle to hang in there until they were ready? I really was living a no-win situation.

I’m a risk-taker by nature. I’d rather do, than not. To think of never loving again is akin to death and who wants to rush the unavoidable? Loving is life at its best yet I’ve realized now through two decades of infatuations, true love and sacrifice that perhaps I’ve had a part in my own pain.

We can’t knock the roads we’ve taken because all roads lead to ourselves, our true path if we are brave enough to look. I am thankful for all I have lived and pray for the wisdom to create and accept a better love and thus a better life.

My biggest heartache took me for surprise several years ago. Yes, I knew his history and his patterns but I thought we were different, I thought our love was so great it could conquer all. Amor Vincit Ominia. As I found myself calling off my wedding two months prior due to an infidelity, I realized that I had hit bottom. Some said I was brave and strong for suspending the nuptials after 6 and a half years of a tumultuous relationship. I felt I had no choice.

Humiliating, insulting, disappointing, words cannot describe the immense pain and chaos I felt descended upon me. But in this earthly laboratory called LIFE, I had a spiritual alchemical reaction.

It went something like this,” Do you know who you are? Do you know what you deserve?”

Yes… was my tearful answer. “Good, so cut the bullshit.” I can’t say that my spiritual guides are always the understanding sort but you get my point. In that very moment where everything I thought I had and would have disappeared…a clear picture of myself arose. I realized that I loved myself and that my primary responsibility was to honor myself, my ideals and my dreams. Strong, loving, intelligent, sensual, passionate, loyal and creative… I was a woman to be contended with and not merely here on earth to settle for less. If I was a woman then I truly deserved a man, an honest and loyal one.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that full moons, rainy nights, candlit talks till dawn and “I love you’s” in the quiet of the night aren’t hot. They are. Very. It makes life juicy.

Now that I’m recovering I want romance in everyday life, I want counseling so Romeo lives, I want to marry him and write him poetry even in our eighties. I don’t want to talk in hushed tones with my girlfriends about “ the one that got away.”

I want the glow in my skin and the ease in my walk to speak for me and the peace I feel with the man I love. Yes, peace. Peace, entwined with passion and an understanding that we are individual's choosing to share a joint journey. I don’t want to feel heroic because once-upon-a-time I loved someone to pieces. No, I want to meet the challenges of keeping love alive each day. I want to be the everyday Hero of love that is not judged for one grand moment but for moments strung together to create the masterpiece of a lifetime. A lifetime, Yes…commitment-phobes I feel you quivering. Read on.

Choosing to love the same person, courageously, joyously and passionately. Of course, nothing is perfect and the rough times will come but knowing that we will get through them and keep loving is what I am seeking. I want in-laws to meet, I want babies to name, laundry for more than one and bills to share.

At the end of the fairytale where the Prince wins the Princess there is a subtitle that reads, “and they lived happily ever after.” Now wouldn’t that be a very grand story to tell? That’s hot.

That’s what I’m talking about.

She changes everything She touches

change (chnj)
v. changed, chang·ing, chang·es
1.
a. To cause to be different
b. To give a completely different form or appearance to; transform:
2. To give and receive reciprocally; interchange
3. To exchange for or replace with another, usually of the same kind or category

It’s a basic component of human existence…change.

Sometimes we throw it around like an ill-used four-letter word and other times ignore it so as to turn abruptly and smack into it. Often we can hide out somewhat successfully, avoid life as much as possible but change will get you. You can ignore, lie to yourself, cheat and steal…but change will always get you.

Whether it’s the crow’s feet, your parent’s passing or the times and how they are “ a changin”…its inevitable. So faced with unavoidable truth some call upon it, coax it into existence, then either pull back or jump into it-committed.

Committed to what we don’t often know (perhaps to the expectations or beliefs we have), or to the moment and the fact that things will not remain the same. The worse experience of change of course being as in ol’ back-in-the-day cartoons, the piano falls on your head…OUCH.

With the work I do, I often suggest to people that they alter beliefs or how they are seeing what is actually occurring…when they say, “It’s who I am”…part of me wants to cry out, “No, its who you are choosing to be.”

We seem to think that we are a static entity composed of rules and designations created by our nature and nurture and anything different is---does not compute, does not compute. Honestly, there is a static part of ourselves that clings to dear life! The EGO. Change brings about fear because its very nature, transformation implies, in fact demands, an ending…a petit morte and not the hot, explosive “O” kind. And I’m not talking about Oprah here…

In many instances, and thank God they come often…I see a glimmer of acknowledgement or a sigh of relief and hear “ ahhh there is another way!” I jump for joy. Connecting to a greater awareness is what I live for!

Before the New Year, as most gather together thoughts of the past year and things they’d like to “change”, I was faced with some truths that needed my attention and my conscious surrender to change. I knew that making these “changes” would literally alter my landscape as they entailed releasing friendships that no longer served me, ideas about reality that no longer supported the YES! to the Universe I was seeking and a close relationship that truly had outworn its welcome.

I basically and quite overnight faced the fact that childbearing might not be in my future if I didn’t make some quick decisions. So I did. So quickly in fact, that I was sent spinning and was sporting the PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) foggy gaze for about two weeks. As I let go of the familiar, I was shell-shocked and felt a bit like a vagabond wandering unknown streets…yes, with no names in fact.

My mind and spirit jumped in doing whatever it took and my heart and body dragged behind. Hormone free meat(I’m not ready to go vegan…have patience), organic fruits and veggies, herbs, exercise, meditation, visualizations and lots o’healing.

Yea, the kind you say, “No, I looked at that with my therapist years ago, no I burned that in the Sacred Fire or I saged that away at the last waning moon, No…I’ve done inner child work- really I have. Not! I had to look at some core experiences and beliefs that had shaped some of the things that were manifesting in my life.

Carolyn Myss, bestselling author & medical intuitive states that “our biography becomes our biology.” As I looked at my very healthy physical past and now realized that I had stuffed all my stress, angst and worries in one place. It was like my body was a house, well-made, strong, lots of light, plenty of space but I had stuffed all the extra stuff laying around in what I thought was a closet…turns out that it was supposed to be the baby’s room. What to do now but research, study and employ all tools necessary to move the stuff outta the room? And as quickly as possible, please.

So, here I am in a foreign country...the land of my foremothers and forefathers but I had not visited in 20 years-um yes, foreign. From cab to lab, to food to family, to cab to hotel and back to clinicians, my life took on an otherworldly, disembodied aspect. Nothing was familiar and this intense unfamiliarity increased the pressure pot sensation. While doctors ran around saying OPERATE!, family worried, friends prayed back home and I was overwhelmed…yes I called out to God.

Now, we actually have a relationship, it’s not a fair-weather friend sorta relationship either. I thank God during teary-eyed joyful times, and I honor Great Spirit with my spiritual practice and I call on the Goddess as I dance, breathe, make love or take luxurious baths. If there is one thing I know in this ever changing world is that there is an energy, a force a spark inside of me (and everyone else) that connects us to home, To all that Is and that in essence we are ONE.

Soon unexpected meetings, information, heavenly assistance as well as a loving ex suddenly supporting me in ways he never had during our relationship began evolving. The negative influences seemed to fall away from my life almost overnight as I committed myself to changing.The lovely coincidences, my sisterhood, the online specialists, the forums,
the healers, the shaman and Cabildo priest and priestess I met... all comprise my team of allies on this particular mission for change. It may take a village to raise a child, how about to re-birth one? I'll let you know when I'm done...as if we are ever done until we are "done" at least in physical form.

As I turned into 2011 I realized that I don't know the outcome of this wild ride and that I am at peace with it. I feel lighter ( and I literally am!), hopeful, ecstatic even! As I let go of the old, as I forgive and release what no longer serves me I am a co-conspirator in letting go of what I thought I was going to be, to become what I am becoming. And I tell you...I LIKE it!

I made a call, a request to the Universe for support and thankfully I was open enough to listen. As you turn into this 2011 year and perhaps watch your life shift, maybe crumble and your faith in the future sorta flag a bit...reach out. Reach out to your team of allies, your peeps, your tribe...if they are lacking make a request for new ones! We can't avoid change so why not be a willing participant?

Everything She touches changes...